pink panther inspector clouseau quotes

To take something from a person and keep it for oneself: that is robbery. To take something from one person and then turn it over to another in exchange for as much money as you can get: that is business. Robbery is so much more stupid, since it is satisfied with a single, frequently dangerous profit; whereas in business it can be doubled without danger. ~Octave Mirbeau, Torture Garden



There are twelve hours in the day, and above fifty in the night. ~Marie de Rabutin-Chantal



Abstainer, n. A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: from academe A modern school where football is taught. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary



The flat tax would be so simple, you could fill it out on a post card. A post card that would say, in effect, having a wonderful time; glad most of my money is here. ~Steve Forbes



A thousand men can't undress a naked man. ~Greek Proverb



Everyone is born a king, and most people die in exile. ~Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance, 1893



Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough.... I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who tried to learn snowboarding. ~Dave Barry



For age is opportunity no less than youth itself, though in another dress, and as the evening twilight fades away, the sky is filled with stars, invisible by day. ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow



In the long run wives are to be paid in a peculiar coin - consideration for their feelings. As it usually turns out this is an enormous, unthinkable inflation few men will remit, or if they will, only with a sense of being overcharged. ~Elizabeth Hardwick, Seduction and Betrayal, 1974



The god who is reputed to have created fleas to keep dogs from moping over their situation must also have created fundamentalists to keep rationalists from getting flabby. Let us be duly thankful for out blessings. ~Garrett Hardin



I often want to cry. That is the only advantage women have over men - at least they can cry. ~Jean Rhys



People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens are attached to them. ~George Bernard Shaw



Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it. ~Alfred Hitchcock



Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join. ~Elbert Hubbard



Puritanism: the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. ~H.L. Mencken



Traveler: "God has been mighty good to your fields, Mr. Farmer."



Our prayers should be for blessings in general, for God knows best what is good for us. ~Socrates



You can tear a poem apart to see what makes it tick.... You're back with the mystery of having been moved by words. The best craftsmanship always leaves holes and gaps... so that something that is not in the poem can creep, crawl, flash or thunder in. ~Dylan Thomas, Poetic Manifesto, 1961



When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure. ~Peter Marshall



Man, when you lose your laugh you lose your footing. ~Ken Kesey