funny quotes with pics

A lie is an excuse guarded. ~Jonathan Swift



He was the only man I ever saw who ran his own interference. ~Steve Owen, about Bronko Nagurski



Human suffering, while it is asleep, is shapeless. If it is wakened it takes the form of the waker. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin



Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry. ~George Ade



Racism is man's gravest threat to man - the maximum of hatred for a minimum of reason. ~Abraham Joshua Heschel



I have heard with admiring submission the experience of the lady who declared that the sense of being perfectly well-dressed gives a feeling of inward tranquility which religion is powerless to bestow. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, Letters and Social Aims



To conquer oneself is a greater task than conquering others. ~Buddha



An aphorism is a single sentence that totally exhausts its subject. ~Robert Brault



Remember this. When people choose to withdraw far from a fire, the fire continues to give warmth, but they grow cold. When people choose to withdraw far from light, the light continues to be bright in itself but they are in darkness. This is also the case when people withdraw from God. ~Augustine



You can't go through life quitting everything. If you're going to achieve anything, you've got to stick with something. ~From the television show Family Matters



Each season of adventure reality television gets more and more challenging. I'm waiting for them to come out with a Survivor: Phoenix in July edition. ~Linda Solegato



Happiness is never stopping to think if you are. ~Palmer Sondreal



There is no daily chore so trivial that it cannot be made important by skipping it two days running. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



It ain't nothin' till I call it. ~Bill Klem, umpire



There may be liberty and justice for all, but there are tax breaks only for some. ~Martin A. Sullivan



October is not only a beautiful month but marks the precious yet fleeting overlap of hockey, baseball, basketball, and football. ~Jason Love



Our current obsession with creativity is the result of our continued striving for immortality in an era when most people no longer believe in an afterlife. ~Arianna Stassinopoulos



Sex is something I really don't understand too hot. You never know where the hell you are. I keep making up these sex rules for myself, and then I break them right away. Last year I made a rule that I was going to quit horsing around with girls that, deep down, gave me a pain in the ass. I broke it, though, the same week I made it - the same night, as a matter of fact. ~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, Chapter 9



The best thing about doing needlepoint for very small children is that they are so uncritical. The don't say things like, "I see you've missed some stitches over here on the leg, was that intentional?" or "Was this creature blinded in a fight?" They will clasp it in their little arms and love it besottedly, inseparably as the thing becomes more and more rancid. ~Carole Berman and Jennifer Lazarus



Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they're in the game. ~Paul Rodriguez